Last Updated: October 20, 2026
Holidays can feel different after a separation or divorce. You may worry about missing Thanksgiving dinner, sharing Christmas morning, or spending your child’s birthday apart. A clear joint custody holiday schedule can help you plan and give your child a sense of what to expect.
You do not have to settle every detail in one talk. Start with the days that matter to your family. Then work through the dates, pickup times, school breaks, and travel plans.
This guide explains common ways to share holidays and what parents should know in New York, New Jersey, and Philadelphia. Start with your current court order for any plans.
What Is a Joint Custody Holiday Schedule?
A joint custody holiday schedule sets out when a child spends holidays and special days with each parent. It can cover religious holidays, birthdays, school breaks, and family events.
The term “joint custody” can be confusing. Joint legal custody means parents share major decisions about their child. It does not, by itself, mean they share equal time or split every holiday in half. Parenting time is the schedule for when the child is with each parent.
A holiday plan should explain how special days fit with the usual weekly schedule. It should also say which schedule takes priority when dates overlap.
If you need help understanding the difference between custody and parenting time, our child custody services explain how we help families in New York and New Jersey.
Common Ways to Split Holidays
There are several ways to share holiday time. Think about your child’s age, travel time, school calendar, and family traditions before choosing a plan.
Alternate Holidays Each Year
Parents can take turns having the same holiday in odd and even years.
For example, one parent could have Thanksgiving in 2026 and the other in 2027. Christmas Day could follow the opposite pattern.
This gives each parent time with the child on major holidays over two years. It can also reduce the number of exchanges during a celebration.
Divide the Holiday
Some parents split a holiday into two time blocks. One parent might have Christmas Eve, while the other has Christmas Day. Those blocks can switch the next year.
A same-day split may work when parents live nearby. It may be harder when the child must spend hours in a car or leave a gathering halfway through.
Think about what the day will feel like for your child. More time traveling can mean less time enjoying the holiday.
Keep Certain Holidays With the Same Parent
Some families assign a holiday to the same parent each year. This may reflect a religious tradition or a work schedule.
For example, one parent may celebrate Passover while the other celebrates Easter. The schedule can include both without treating them as the same event.
You can also mix these approaches. Alternate Thanksgiving, divide winter break, and keep another meaningful day with the same parent.
A Sample Joint Custody Holiday Schedule
The table below is a planning example. It is not a court-required schedule for New York, New Jersey, or Philadelphia. It assumes that both parents may have unsupervised time under the applicable order.
| Holiday or break | Even years | Odd years | Sample time block |
| Thanksgiving | Parent A | Parent B | Wednesday at 6 p.m. through Sunday at 6 p.m. |
| Christmas Eve | Parent B | Parent A | December 24 at 10 a.m. through December 25 at 10 a.m. |
| Christmas Day | Parent A | Parent B | December 25 at 10 a.m. through December 26 at 10 a.m. |
| New Year’s holiday | Parent B | Parent A | December 31 at 10 a.m. through January 1 at 6 p.m. |
| Spring break | Parent A | Parent B | School dismissal through 6 p.m. the day before school resumes |
| Child’s birthday | Parent B | Parent A | After school through 7 p.m., with separate times for nonschool days |
Replace or add holidays to reflect your family’s traditions. If you celebrate Christmas, also address the rest of winter break. Assigning Christmas Eve and Christmas Day alone leaves other days unresolved.
For a holiday that crosses into January, state which year determines the assignment. You might use the year in which the holiday period begins.
Use each parent’s name in the final plan. Add the exchange location and who handles transportation.
Holiday Custody Schedules in New York
New York courts make custody and visitation decisions based on the child’s best interests. In plain terms, that means looking at the child’s health, safety, care, and family needs.
The New York Courts’ custody guidance explains that judges consider factors such as work schedules, family ties, and each parent’s ability to cooperate when it is safe.
For holiday planning, think about how those needs affect the proposed schedule. A late exchange might disrupt a young child’s sleep. A long trip might conflict with school the next morning.
Start by reading your existing order. Check whether it covers holidays, school breaks, travel, and changes agreed to by both parents. Do not assume joint custody gives either parent a right to a particular holiday.
If an order needs to change, ask a lawyer about the proper process. New York courts may change an order when circumstances have changed and the new arrangement serves the child’s best interests.
Holiday Parenting Time in New Jersey
In New Jersey, the time a child spends with each parent is often called “parenting time.” A holiday visitation schedule for joint custody in NJ should clearly cover holidays, birthdays, and school breaks.
The New Jersey Courts’ guide, Parenting Time: A Child’s Right, encourages parents to include those details. It also addresses delays, schedule changes, and makeup time when appropriate.
Alternating holidays is one option. But do not assume an example schedule applies to your family. Read the holiday terms in your own order.
A useful plan answers questions such as:
- Does Thanksgiving include the full weekend?
- How is winter break divided?
- What happens when a school break overlaps a holiday?
- When does the regular schedule resume?
- How should a parent report a late pickup?
Clear terms give both parents a shared reference when a question comes up.
Holiday Custody Schedules in Philadelphia
Philadelphia custody matters fall under Pennsylvania law. Parents may see terms such as “shared physical custody,” which refers to a child spending significant periods of time with both parents.
Under Pennsylvania’s custody law, courts consider the child’s best interests, with added weight given to safety factors. Other factors include the child’s need for stability, family relationships, and the distance between the parents’ homes.
For a Philadelphia family, those issues may affect whether a same-day holiday split is practical. Two nearby homes may allow a simple exchange. Travel between Philadelphia and New York may call for longer blocks with fewer trips.
Use your child’s actual school calendar. Schools and districts may have different break dates.
If one parent lives in Pennsylvania and the other lives elsewhere, get advice about which court handles the case. Crossing a state line for a holiday does not, by itself, tell you which court can change a custody order.
Details to Include in Your Holiday Plan
A list of holidays is only the first step. The details below make the schedule easier to follow.
Exact Start and End Times
“Thanksgiving with Dad” leaves room for disagreement. Write the start date, end date, and time of each exchange.
Also explain what happens when school is closed on a day normally used for a school pickup.
Rules for Overlapping Dates
Your plan should state how holidays, school breaks, vacations, and regular weekends fit together.
For example, it could say holiday time takes priority over the regular weekly schedule. That rule needs to appear in the agreement or order. Do not assume it applies if the document is silent.
Pickup, Drop-Off, and Travel
State where exchanges happen and who drives. For longer trips, address costs, booking plans, and how parents share travel details.
Check the order before booking travel. Address any required notice or consent, especially for international trips.
Your Child’s Needs
Consider sleep, medication, meals, and schoolwork. Pack needed items and share care instructions.
Older children may have jobs, sports, or plans with friends. Listen to their concerns without asking them to choose between parents.
Contact With the Other Parent
You can include a short call or video chat during longer holiday visits, when appropriate under the order. Choose a time that lets the child enjoy the visit without repeated interruptions.
How to Handle Changes and Missed Visits
Illness, storms, and work changes can affect a holiday plan. Contact the other parent as soon as you know there is a problem, using the communication method allowed by your order.
If you agree to a one-time change, record the dates, times, and any makeup time in writing. Follow the order’s rules for agreed changes. A text confirming a swap should not be treated as a permanent change to the court order.
If the schedule no longer fits your child’s needs, ask about a formal change. In New York, parents can ask the court to modify an order. The court reviews changed circumstances and the child’s best interests.
When visits are denied or missed, keep a factual record. Save messages and note the date, time, and what happened. A lawyer can help you decide whether to seek enforcement, which means asking the court to address a failure to follow its order.
Avoid arguing at an exchange or using your child to carry messages. Where abuse, threats, or safety restrictions are involved, follow the protective terms and get legal help before changing exchange plans.
FAQs About Joint Custody Holiday Schedules
Does Joint Custody Mean We Split Every Holiday Equally?
No. Shared decision-making does not automatically create equal holiday time. Your agreement or court order should spell out the schedule.
Does the Holiday Schedule Override the Regular Schedule?
Read your order. A plan can give holidays priority over regular weekends, but that should be stated clearly. If the terms conflict or are unclear, get help before assuming which schedule applies.
Can We Agree to Swap a Holiday?
You may be able to arrange a swap if your order allows it. Confirm the details in writing and check whether court approval is needed. Get legal advice for a lasting change.
Can My Child Choose Where to Spend a Holiday?
Your child’s views may matter, depending on age, maturity, and state law. Those views do not automatically replace the court order. Listen to your child and address concerns through the proper process.
What if We Cannot Agree?
Review the current order first. A lawyer may help clarify the terms or negotiate a plan. Mediation may also help when it is safe and suitable. If no agreement is reached, a court may need to decide.
How Early Should We Plan?
Review the school calendar when it becomes available. Confirm upcoming holiday details before making travel plans or accepting invitations. Follow any notice deadlines in your order.
Get Help With Your Holiday Custody Schedule
A clear joint custody holiday schedule can take some pressure off holiday planning. Start with your child’s needs, use exact dates and times, and check how special days fit with your current order.
At Krasner Law, we help parents in New York and New Jersey work through custody and parenting-time issues. We can review holiday terms, discuss proposed changes, and help you understand your options.
Contact Krasner Law to schedule an initial call about your New York or New Jersey custody matter.
