Going through a divorce or separation is tough, especially when children are involved. One of the important things to figure out is child custody, and the term "shared custody" can sometimes be confusing. Whether you're considering shared custody or dealing with a custody dispute, it’s helpful to understand what this type of arrangement really means. In this blog, we'll explain shared custody, how it's different from joint custody, and how custody laws can vary depending on where you live.
What is Shared Custody?
Shared custody is a type of child custody arrangement where both parents take part in raising their child after they’ve separated or divorced. It’s an arrangement designed to keep both parents actively involved in their child’s life, even though they’re no longer together.
There are two main components of shared custody: legal custody and physical custody. Let’s break down what each of these means and how they work in a shared custody arrangement.
1. Legal Custody: Decision-Making Power
Legal custody refers to the right to make important decisions about a child’s life. In a shared custody arrangement, both parents usually have legal custody, meaning they share responsibility for major decisions involving:
Education: Where the child goes to school, special education needs, tutoring, and extracurricular activities.
Healthcare: Decisions about medical care, dental treatment, mental health support, and vaccinations.
Religion: In some cases, legal custody also involves decisions about religious upbringing, such as attending a particular church or religious events.
In shared legal custody, parents must communicate and cooperate to make decisions that are in the child’s best interest. If the parents disagree on these major decisions, they might have to return to court to resolve the dispute.
2. Physical Custody: Where the Child Lives
Physical custody is about where the child lives and which parent provides day-to-day care. In shared custody arrangements, the child will spend time living with both parents. However, this does not always mean the time is split evenly, like 50/50. Instead, the time spent with each parent depends on what works best for the child and the family’s situation.
Equal Time: In some cases, parents may divide their time equally, with the child spending half of the time with one parent and the other half with the other parent.
Unequal Time: In other cases, one parent might have the child more often, depending on factors like the parents’ work schedules, the child’s school schedule, or the distance between the parents' homes. The other parent might have the child on weekends or during school breaks.
3. How Does Shared Custody Work in Day-to-Day Life?
In shared custody, both parents are involved in their child’s daily life, though the exact arrangement depends on the family’s unique circumstances. Here are some common questions readers might have:
Does shared custody mean 50/50 time?
Not always. While some parents split time evenly, others might not. Courts look at what’s best for the child, which can result in unequal time but still allow both parents to be involved.
What if the parents live far apart?
If parents live far from each other, shared custody might not involve frequent physical exchanges. Instead, the parent who lives farther away may have the child for longer periods, like during the summer or school vacations. This helps ensure the child has meaningful time with both parents, even if frequent exchanges aren't possible.
How do parents communicate in shared custody?
Communication is key to shared custody. Parents may use co-parenting apps or schedules to coordinate their child’s needs. Whether it’s making decisions about school or keeping track of extracurricular activities, communication is essential to making shared custody work smoothly.
Do both parents pay child support in shared custody?
Child support can still be ordered in shared custody, especially if one parent earns significantly more than the other or if one parent has the child more often. The goal of child support is to ensure that the child’s needs are met, regardless of where they are living.
4. Benefits of Shared Custody
Shared custody has many benefits for children, as it allows them to maintain relationships with both parents. Some of the key benefits include:
Emotional Stability: Children benefit from having both parents involved in their lives, which can create a sense of security and stability.
Balanced Parenting: Shared custody gives both parents a chance to contribute to the child’s upbringing, whether it’s helping with homework or attending school events.
Co-Parenting Role Models: Children who see their parents working together and communicating in a positive way are more likely to learn how to handle conflicts and relationships in their own lives.
5. Challenges of Shared Custody
While shared custody has its advantages, it also comes with challenges:
Coordination: Parents need to coordinate schedules, appointments, and school events, which can be complicated if they don’t live close to each other or have demanding jobs.
Emotional Strain: Transitions between two homes can sometimes be stressful for the child, especially if the parents don’t get along.
Inconsistency: If the parents don’t communicate well, the child might experience inconsistency in rules, routines, or discipline, which can be confusing and unsettling.
6. How is Shared Custody Decided?
When deciding whether shared custody is the best option, the court looks at what is in the child’s best interest. This means considering factors like:
The relationship between the child and each parent
The ability of each parent to meet the child’s emotional and physical needs
The parents’ ability to cooperate and communicate
The stability of each parent’s home
The child’s preferences (if they are old enough to express them)
Shared Custody vs Joint Custody: What’s the Difference?
Many people use the terms "shared custody" and "joint custody" as if they mean the same thing, but legally they can be a bit different, depending on the state you live in.
Shared Custody: This usually means both parents are involved in both legal and physical custody, meaning they share time with the child and also make decisions together.
Joint Custody: This term can sometimes refer just to shared legal custody, where both parents are responsible for decision-making, but the child might live primarily with one parent.
While the specific legal terms can vary from place to place, the goal of both shared and joint custody is to keep both parents involved in the child’s life.
What Are the Disadvantages of Joint Custody?
Joint custody, while beneficial for many families, can come with some disadvantages. One major challenge is the need for effective communication between parents. Since both parents share responsibility for making decisions about their child’s upbringing, it requires a high level of cooperation. If parents cannot get along or communicate well, joint custody can lead to conflict, which can negatively affect the child.
Another disadvantage is the potential instability in the child’s routine. In joint custody arrangements, children may have to move between two homes frequently. This can be stressful, especially if the parents live far apart, as it can disrupt the child’s schooling, social life, and daily activities. Consistency is crucial for a child’s development, and constant transitions may make it harder for a child to feel settled and secure.
Joint custody can also be difficult for parents with demanding work schedules. Both parents need to have the flexibility to be involved in their child’s life on a regular basis, and if one or both parents have unpredictable or long work hours, this can be challenging. Additionally, if the parents live far apart, the travel time between homes can be tiring and disruptive for the child.
Legal Definitions of Shared Custody
The exact legal definition of shared custody depends on the state you’re in, but most states agree that the arrangement should allow both parents to have ongoing contact with the child. Courts consider several factors when deciding on custody, including:
The best interests of the child
The child’s emotional and physical needs
Each parent’s ability to provide a stable home
How well the parents can cooperate with each other
In a shared custody arrangement, both parents usually make big decisions together, and the child might live with both parents at different times. These arrangements are flexible, so parents can adjust schedules based on work, school, and other needs.
What Type of Custody is Best for a Child?
There is no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes to the best type of custody for a child. The best arrangement depends on the child’s unique needs and the parent’s ability to co-parent effectively. Generally, the best type of custody is one that supports the child’s emotional, physical, and social development while maintaining a strong relationship with both parents.
In many cases, shared custody or joint custody can be beneficial, as it allows the child to maintain relationships with both parents. Research has shown that children tend to thrive when both parents are actively involved in their lives, provided the parents can cooperate and make decisions together in the child’s best interest. Shared custody also provides a sense of balance and support from both parents, which can be important for a child’s emotional well-being.
However, in situations where there is conflict between parents, sole custody might be a better option. If one parent is unfit due to issues such as abuse, addiction, or neglect, it may be in the child’s best interest for the other parent to have full custody. Ultimately, the best type of custody depends on what will provide the child with a stable, safe, and loving environment.
State Differences in Shared Custody Laws
Although shared custody is common across the U.S., the laws about it can differ from state to state. Let’s take a look at how custody laws work in a few states:
New York Custody Laws
In New York, courts look at the best interest of the child when deciding custody. Shared custody is possible, but it’s not always guaranteed. The court checks how stable each parent’s home is, how willing they are to work together, and what arrangement will be best for the child’s emotional and physical well-being.
New Jersey Custody Laws
New Jersey also focuses on what’s best for the child, and shared physical custody is more common here. Courts encourage parents to make their own agreements about custody, but if they can’t, the court steps in and makes the decision.
California Custody Laws
California is a state that favors joint custody, where both parents share the responsibility of raising the child. Parents in California are encouraged to work out a parenting plan that works for everyone, especially the child. Courts make sure the arrangement doesn’t disrupt the child’s routine, like school or extracurricular activities.
Pros and Cons of Shared Custody
There are several benefits to shared custody:
Emotional Support: Children often do better when they have strong relationships with both parents.
Balanced Parenting: Both parents get to be involved in important decisions and daily activities.
Better Outcomes: Studies show that children in shared custody arrangements do better socially and academically compared to those in sole custody arrangements.
However, there are also challenges. Shared custody requires good communication and cooperation between parents. Parents need to be flexible with schedules and able to work through disagreements, which can be tough after a separation.
How to Lose 50/50 Custody?
Losing 50/50 custody can happen if one parent demonstrates behavior that is harmful to the child or fails to meet the responsibilities outlined in the custody agreement. There are several ways a parent can lose equal custody rights:
Neglect or Abuse: If a parent is found to have neglected or abused the child, this is one of the fastest ways to lose custody. Courts prioritize the safety and well-being of the child, and any evidence of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse can lead to the loss of custody rights.
Substance Abuse: A parent who has issues with drugs or alcohol may lose custody if it’s proven that substance abuse affects their ability to care for the child. Courts take addiction issues seriously, as they can put the child’s safety at risk.
Failure to Cooperate: Joint custody requires cooperation between both parents. If one parent consistently fails to communicate, follow the agreed schedule, or make joint decisions about the child, the court may modify custody arrangements. A parent who refuses to work with the other parent or causes constant conflict may lose custody.
Violation of Court Orders: If a parent disregards court orders related to custody, such as failing to return the child on time or preventing the other parent from seeing the child, the court may take away 50/50 custody. It’s important for parents to follow the terms set by the court to maintain their custody rights.
Instability: If a parent is unable to provide a stable home environment, this can be grounds for losing custody. Instability might include frequent moves, unstable living conditions, or an inability to provide for the child’s basic needs.
In any custody case, the court’s main concern is the child’s best interest. If a parent’s actions show that they are unable to meet the child’s needs, the court may decide to reduce or revoke that parent’s custody rights.
Is Shared Custody Right for You?
Choosing shared custody can be complicated. Here are some things to consider before deciding if it's the right option:
Communication: Can you communicate effectively with your co-parent about your child’s needs?
Living Arrangements: Do you live close enough to the other parent to make shared custody work smoothly?
The Child’s Age: Young children might need more stability in their schedule, while older children might adapt better to moving between homes.
Work Schedules: Do your work schedules allow for shared custody, or will one parent struggle to make it work?
Consulting with a family law attorney can help you make the best decision for your situation.
Final Thoughts: Is Shared Custody Right for Your Family?
Shared custody can be a good option for parents who want to stay involved in their child’s life after separation. It allows children to have relationships with both parents and encourages collaboration in raising the child. However, understanding the legal differences and the state laws surrounding shared custody vs joint custody is key to making the right choice.
If you have questions about shared custody or want to explore your options, contact Krasner Law for a consultation. We have the experience to help families in New York and New Jersey navigate custody matters with care and professionalism.