Going through a divorce is tough. It’s an emotional process that can also cost a lot of money and take up a lot of time. Some couples choose to settle things quickly with an uncontested divorce, but that's not always possible. If you’re facing a complicated situation, you might be wondering, is it worth contesting a divorce? In this post, we'll break down whether it makes sense to contest a divorce, especially if it’s a one-sided divorce where only one partner wants to go through with it. We'll explore the costs, time involved, and what you might get out of it so you can make the best decision for yourself
What Is a Contested Divorce?
A contested divorce happens when a couple can’t agree on important things like child custody, dividing property, or even whether to get divorced at all. In these cases, you usually have to go to court so a judge can decide for you. This can make the whole process longer, more stressful, and more expensive.
But sometimes, contesting a divorce might be worth it. Whether it’s to protect your finances, secure fair custody of your kids, or just get a fair deal, there are times when it’s the right choice. Let’s dig into when it might be a good idea to contest a divorce.
Is It Worth Contesting a Divorce? Factors to Think About
Divorce is a big decision that can change your life in many ways. If you’re going through one, you might be wondering, is it worth contesting a divorce? Contesting a divorce means you don’t agree with what your spouse wants, so you take it to court to fight for what you think is fair. But this process can be costly, time-consuming, and stressful. Let’s explore the key factors you should consider before deciding if contesting is the right move for you.
1. Protecting Your Money and Assets
Divorce often involves splitting up everything you and your spouse own together, which can affect your financial future. Here are some reasons why contesting the divorce might be a smart move when it comes to protecting your assets:
You own valuable property or investments. If you have significant assets like a home, rental properties, retirement accounts, or even a family business, you might not want to agree to your spouse’s terms if they seem unfair.
You think your spouse is hiding money. Unfortunately, not all spouses are honest during a divorce. If you suspect your spouse is hiding assets or not being truthful about their income, contesting the divorce may force them to be more transparent.
You deserve spousal support (alimony). If there’s a big difference in income between you and your spouse, you might be entitled to alimony. Contesting could help you secure the financial support you need, especially if you’ve sacrificed your career to support your family.
Questions to Ask Yourself:
Are you financially secure enough to handle the costs of a contested divorce?
Are you prepared for a lengthy process if your spouse fights back?
Do you have evidence (like financial records) to support your case?
Things to Consider:
Contesting a divorce can be expensive because of attorney fees, court costs, and expert witnesses.
It can take months or even years to resolve a contested divorce, which means more stress and uncertainty.
2. Getting Fair Child Custody Agreements
If you have kids, deciding on custody arrangements is probably one of your biggest concerns. Here’s when it might be worth contesting:
The other parent’s terms aren’t in the best interest of your child. Maybe your spouse is pushing for sole custody, and you believe joint custody would be better for your kids. Courts in New York focus on what’s best for the child, like providing a stable and loving environment.
You’re worried about your child’s safety. If you think your spouse’s living situation is unsafe or unstable, contesting custody is necessary to protect your kids.
You want more time with your children. If you’re not happy with the proposed visitation schedule, contesting could help you secure more time with your kids.
Questions to Ask Yourself:
Is your goal to protect your child, or is it more about getting back at your ex? Be honest with yourself.
Do you have the emotional and financial resources to handle a custody battle?
Are you prepared to put your kids through the stress of a long court case?
Things to Consider:
Custody battles can be very stressful for everyone involved, especially children.
A drawn-out custody case can affect your relationship with your kids if it becomes too hostile.
3. Handling a One Sided Divorce
A one sided divorce happens when only one spouse wants to end the marriage. If you’re the one who doesn’t want to divorce, you might feel like contesting is your only option. Here’s what to consider:
You need more time to adjust. Contesting a one-sided divorce can buy you some time to emotionally prepare for the end of the marriage or to negotiate better terms.
You want a fairer settlement. Sometimes, the spouse who wants the divorce may rush things, hoping you’ll agree to unfavorable terms just to get it over with. Contesting can help slow down the process and give you more time to think through your options.
You’re hoping for a reconciliation. If you believe there’s still a chance to save your marriage, contesting could buy you some time to work things out. However, this can be risky if your spouse is truly done with the relationship.
Questions to Ask Yourself:
Are you contesting because you truly want a fair outcome, or are you just trying to delay the process?
Is there any realistic chance of reconciliation, or are you just holding on to false hope?
How much stress are you willing to endure to contest the divorce?
Things to Consider:
Contesting a one-sided divorce might not stop the divorce from happening—it could just delay it and make it more costly.
If your spouse is set on divorce, contesting might only make things more painful for both of you.
How to Decide If Contesting a Divorce Is Right for You
If you’re still unsure whether contesting your divorce is worth it, here are some final thoughts to consider:
Consult with a Lawyer: Talking to a family law professional like Krasner Law can help you understand your rights and options. A lawyer can provide an honest assessment of whether contesting is in your best interest.
Think Long-Term: Will contesting the divorce truly benefit you in the long run? Sometimes, a quick resolution is better than dragging things out.
Consider Mediation: If you’re on the fence, consider trying mediation first. It’s a less expensive and less stressful way to resolve disputes without going to court.
Divorce is never easy, and deciding whether to contest can be one of the hardest choices you’ll have to make. Whether you’re worried about your finances, fighting for your kids, or just not ready to let go, take the time to carefully consider your options. Remember, there’s no shame in seeking help.
The Costs of Contesting a Divorce: Financial and Emotional
Before deciding whether to contest your divorce, it's smart to understand both the money and emotional costs involved.
1. Money Matters
Contested divorces can get pricey due to:
Attorney Fees: Lawyers usually charge by the hour, and the more you fight, the more it costs.
Expert Witnesses: If you need specialists to look into your finances or child custody issues, that costs extra.
Court Fees: Filing documents and attending court hearings can add up, especially if the divorce drags on.
2. Emotional Costs
Besides money, there’s also the emotional toll. Divorce can affect your mental health, your relationships, and even your kids. The longer the process takes, the more stressful it can be. If you’re already feeling drained, contesting might just add to your stress.
Weighing the Possible Outcomes
So, is it worth contesting a divorce? It really depends on your specific situation. Here’s what you should consider:
Best-Case Scenario: You get a better settlement, fair custody of your kids, or the financial support you deserve.
Worst-Case Scenario: You spend more time and money, end up exhausted, and still don’t get the results you wanted.
Think carefully about whether the potential benefits are worth the risks. Consulting a family law attorney, like Krasner Law, can help you decide what’s best for your unique case.
Deciding What’s Best for You: Should You Contest a Divorce?
When it comes to divorce, every situation is unique. There’s no clear-cut answer to the question, “Is it worth contesting a divorce?” It really depends on your personal circumstances, your goals, and what matters most to you. Sometimes, contesting is necessary to protect your rights, while in other cases, it may be better to compromise and move forward. Let’s dive deeper into how you can decide what’s best for you.
Factors to Consider Before Contesting
When you're thinking about whether to contest your divorce, here are some questions to ask yourself:
What are your goals?
Are you mainly concerned about protecting your finances?
Do you want to secure custody of your children?
Are you trying to get a fair settlement?
Or are you hoping to delay the divorce in the hopes of reconciling?
Are you prepared for the costs?
Contested divorces can be expensive due to attorney fees, court costs, and other expenses.
Make sure you have the financial resources to handle a drawn-out legal process.
How much time can you commit?
Are you willing to invest months, or even years, to resolve the dispute?
Uncontested divorces are usually much quicker, while contested ones can drag on.
How will this impact your mental health?
Divorce is already emotionally draining, and contesting can make it even harder.
Consider whether you’re emotionally prepared to handle the stress of a prolonged legal battle.
When Contesting Might Be Worth It
There are situations where contesting a divorce can be the right move. Here are some common reasons why people choose to contest:
You believe your spouse is hiding assets and you want a fair share of the marital property.
You’re worried about your child’s well-being and believe that the custody arrangement proposed by your spouse is not in their best interest.
Your spouse is asking for an unreasonable amount of alimony and you want to negotiate a fairer amount.
You want to protect your rights to a family business or other significant assets.
In these cases, contesting may be worth the time, money, and effort. However, it’s essential to be prepared for what’s ahead.
Handling a One-Sided Divorce
A one-sided divorce happens when one spouse wants the divorce, but the other doesn’t. If you’re the one who’s not ready to end the marriage, it can feel like the ground has been pulled out from under you. So, what can you do?
Step 1: Take a Deep Breath and Assess Your Situation
Before making any decisions, take a moment to reflect on what you really want. Ask yourself:
Are you contesting because you truly believe the marriage can be saved?
Or are you contesting just to delay the process or out of anger?
Be honest with yourself. While it’s normal to feel hurt and confused, contesting a divorce just to buy time or make things difficult for your spouse might only add more stress to an already difficult situation.
Step 2: Understand Your Options
Contesting a one-sided divorce might give you some leverage, but it can also prolong the inevitable. Here’s a breakdown of your options:
Negotiating for better terms: If you’re worried about issues like finances or child custody, consider using the divorce process to negotiate a more favorable settlement.
Mediation: Sometimes, working with a mediator can help both parties come to an agreement without the stress and cost of going to court.
Accepting the divorce and moving forward: If it’s clear that your spouse is determined to go through with the divorce, it might be healthier for you to accept it and focus on rebuilding your life.
Step 3: Think About the Long-Term Effects
Here are some questions to guide you:
Will contesting the divorce help you achieve your goals? If contesting won’t change the outcome, it may not be worth the stress.
How will this impact your children? If you have kids, consider how a prolonged legal battle might affect them. Sometimes, a quicker, less contentious divorce is better for their emotional well-being.
Do you have the support you need? Going through a contested divorce can be lonely and exhausting. Make sure you have friends, family, or a therapist to help you through it.
Pros and Cons of Contesting a Divorce
Here’s a quick summary of the potential benefits and drawbacks of contesting a divorce:
Pros:
You may get a fairer financial settlement.
It can help protect your parental rights and secure a better custody arrangement.
You have the opportunity to uncover any hidden assets.
Cons:
It can be very expensive, with legal fees piling up quickly.
The process can take a long time, causing more emotional stress.
It may damage your relationship with your ex, especially if you have to co-parent.
Ultimately, deciding whether to contest a divorce is a personal choice. It’s important to consider both your short-term needs and your long-term well-being. If you’re unsure about what to do, it can help to talk to a trusted family law attorney. At Krasner Law, we’re here to guide you through every step of the process, so you can make the best decision for your future.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can contesting a divorce help me save my marriage?
While contesting might delay the process, it usually doesn’t change the other person’s decision. It’s better to focus on negotiating fair terms rather than trying to force reconciliation.
What if I don’t have the money to contest a divorce?
Contested divorces can be expensive. If you’re worried about costs, consider exploring mediation or negotiating directly with your spouse to reach an agreement.
How long does a contested divorce take?
It varies, but a contested divorce can take anywhere from several months to over a year, depending on the complexity of the case and how willing both sides are to negotiate.
Is contesting a divorce worth it if we don’t have kids or major assets?
In cases where there aren’t significant assets or child custody issues, contesting may not be worth the time and money. You might be better off going for an uncontested divorce and moving on.
Make the Choice That’s Right for You
Divorce is one of life’s most challenging experiences, and deciding whether to contest it is a personal choice. If you’re asking yourself, is it worth contesting a divorce, remember to think about the financial costs, the time it will take, and how it will affect you emotionally.
If you’re dealing with a one-sided divorce or you’re not sure about what to do, talking to a family law attorney is a good first step. At Krasner Law, we understand how difficult these situations can be. We’re here to help you protect your rights and guide you through the process with care.
If you’re thinking about contesting your divorce or have questions about your options, reach out to Krasner Law for a private consultation. Let’s work together to find the best solution for your future.