Making the decision to end a marriage is never easy. Whether this choice comes after a long period of reflection or through mutual understanding, it’s a deeply personal and emotional process. But once that decision has been made, understanding how to get a divorce can help you move forward with clarity and confidence.
At Krasner Law, we believe the legal process doesn’t have to add more stress to an already difficult time. If you and your spouse are in agreement, there are steps you can take to make the transition as smooth and efficient as possible. In this guide, we’ll walk you through what to expect, how the process works, and how much it costs to get a divorce if both parties agree—so you can feel more prepared for what’s ahead.
What It Means to Get a Divorce
A divorce is the legal way to end a marriage. It also covers important topics like dividing property, deciding on spousal support, and figuring out custody and child support if you have kids.
There are two main types of divorce:
- Uncontested Divorce: You and your spouse agree on everything—how to split things, who gets what, and any parenting plans.
- Contested Divorce: You don’t agree on everything and may need help from a lawyer, mediator, or judge to sort it out.
If both sides can agree, the divorce process is usually faster, less expensive, and less stressful.
Step-by-Step: How to Get a Divorce in New York or New Jersey
No two divorces are exactly the same. Some couples split with very few disagreements, while others need more time to sort things out. But whether your situation is simple or more complicated, the divorce process usually follows the same basic steps. If you live in New York or New Jersey, here’s what you can expect.
1. Check the Residency Requirements
Before you can file for divorce, you need to make sure you’re eligible to do so in your state.
- In New York, you or your spouse must have lived in the state for at least one year before filing. In some cases, the requirement is two years—especially if the marriage didn’t take place in New York and neither of you has lived there long.
- In New Jersey, either spouse must have been a resident of the state for at least one year before filing.
Why does this matter?
Courts need proof that they have the legal right to handle your divorce. If you don’t meet the residency requirement, your case could get delayed—or dismissed altogether.
What if I just moved to the state?
You’ll likely need to wait until the residency requirement is met. If you’re unsure, a lawyer can help you understand your options.
2. Decide If Your Divorce Is Contested or Uncontested
Before filing, it’s important to know whether your divorce will be contested or uncontested.
- A contested divorce means that you and your spouse disagree on one or more major issues, such as:
- Division of property
- Child custody or parenting time
- Child support or alimony
An uncontested divorce means you both agree on all of the terms and are ready to move forward peacefully.
Why does this matter?
Contested divorces usually take longer, cost more, and require more court involvement. Uncontested divorces tend to be quicker, more affordable, and less stressful.
Can we switch from contested to uncontested later?
Yes. If you start out disagreeing but later come to an agreement, you can update your paperwork and proceed as an uncontested case.
3. File the Divorce Papers
Once you’ve decided to move forward, one person—called the plaintiff—files the divorce paperwork with the court.
- In New York, you’ll file a Summons with Notice or a Summons and Verified Complaint.
- In New Jersey, you’ll file a Complaint for Divorce.
The paperwork will include details like:
- The legal grounds for divorce (such as “irretrievable breakdown of the marriage,” which is a common no-fault reason)
- What the filing spouse is asking for in terms of property, custody, support, etc.
Do I need to hire a lawyer to file?
It’s not required, but it’s highly recommended. A lawyer can help make sure everything is filled out correctly and nothing important is missed.
How much does it cost to file?
Filing fees vary by state but usually range from $300 to $350. Some courts offer fee waivers if you can’t afford the cost.
4. Serve the Papers
After filing, the next step is to officially deliver the divorce papers to your spouse. This is called “serving” the papers.
- You can’t serve the papers yourself. They must be delivered by a third party—like a process server, sheriff’s deputy, or someone over 18 who’s not involved in the case.
- Your spouse (now called the defendant) will have a certain amount of time to respond—usually 20 to 30 days, depending on how and where they were served.
What if I don’t know where my spouse is?
There are special procedures for this. You may be allowed to serve by mail, email, or even publish a notice in a newspaper if the court approves it.
What happens if they don’t respond?
You may be able to request a default judgment, which means the court can move forward without their input. A lawyer can guide you through this process.
5. Create a Settlement Agreement
If your divorce is uncontested, this is one of the most important steps. You and your spouse will work together to create a settlement agreement that outlines all the key details of your divorce, including:
- Who keeps which assets (like your house, car, or retirement accounts)
- Whether spousal support (alimony) will be paid
- How debts will be divided
- Parenting time and custody if you have children
- Child support arrangements
Do we need to write this ourselves?
You can, but it’s a good idea to have a lawyer help—or at least review it—so you don’t miss anything important.
What if we disagree on something small?
You may still be able to file as uncontested if you can work out the details through mediation or negotiation.
6. Submit the Agreement and Final Documents to the Court
Once your agreement is signed, it’s time to send everything to the court for approval. You’ll also need to include any other required documents, such as:
- Financial affidavits
- Parenting plans (if you have kids)
- A request for judgment of divorce
The judge will review the paperwork to make sure everything is complete and fair.
Will we have to go to court?
In many uncontested cases, no court appearance is needed. The judge may approve everything “on the papers,” especially if your agreement is clear and thorough.
What if the judge has questions?
Sometimes the judge may request minor changes or a short hearing, especially if children are involved. Your lawyer will help prepare you if that happens.
7. Final Judgment of Divorce
Once the court approves your documents, the judge will sign a final judgment of divorce (also called a divorce decree). This officially ends your marriage.
You’ll receive a copy of this judgment, which you should keep in a safe place. It may be needed for things like:
- Changing your name
- Updating insurance policies
- Dividing retirement accounts
- Filing taxes
What if we change our minds later?
Once the divorce is finalized, it’s legally binding. However, if there are issues like child custody or support that need to be changed later, you can file for a modification.
Divorce can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. Knowing how to get a divorce in New York or New Jersey—and understanding each step—can help you feel more in control of the process. Whether things are completely amicable or you need a little help sorting out the details, you don’t have to go through it alone.
How Much Does It Cost to Get a Divorce If Both Parties Agree?
If you’re asking how much does it cost to get a divorce if both parties agree, you’re not alone. This is one of the most common questions people have—and the answer depends on a few factors, including where you live and how complex your situation is.
Here’s a basic breakdown of what you might expect to pay for an uncontested divorce:
- Court Filing Fees: Around $335 in New York and about $300 in New Jersey.
- Lawyer Fees: Some attorneys offer flat fees for uncontested divorces. These usually range from $1,000 to $2,500, depending on how much paperwork is involved and whether children or property are part of the agreement.
- Extra Costs: If you need help drafting your agreement or want to use a mediator, that may add another $500 to $1,500.
All in all, the total cost of an uncontested divorce usually falls between $1,000 and $4,000—much lower than a contested divorce, which can run $15,000 or more.
Do You Still Need a Lawyer for an Uncontested Divorce?
It’s true that uncontested divorces are simpler, but that doesn’t mean you should go through the process alone.
A lawyer can help by:
- Making sure your paperwork is done correctly
- Helping you understand your rights and responsibilities
- Avoiding costly mistakes that could delay your divorce or cause problems later
Even if everything seems straightforward, having someone on your side who knows the process can offer peace of mind.
At Krasner Law, we make it easy to move through the divorce process with less stress and more clarity—especially if both parties want to keep things respectful and efficient.
Is Mediation a Good Option?
Sometimes, couples mostly agree on the big stuff but need help working out a few details. That’s where mediation comes in.
In mediation, a neutral third party helps both sides talk through any issues and come to an agreement. It’s often faster and more affordable than going to court, and it helps keep things respectful—especially when kids are involved.
We can connect you with trusted mediators or support you through the process to make sure your final agreement is fair and complete.
Is Mediation a Good Option?
If you and your spouse are mostly in agreement but need a little help figuring out the details, mediation can be a great solution. It’s a peaceful, practical way to work through the final parts of your divorce without dragging things into a courtroom.
What Is Mediation?
Mediation is a process where both spouses sit down with a neutral third party, called a mediator. The mediator isn’t there to take sides or make decisions for you. Instead, they help guide the conversation so both of you can communicate more clearly and reach agreements on things like:
- Dividing property and finances
- Child custody and parenting time
- Child support or spousal support
- Any other unresolved issues
Why Choose Mediation?
- It’s usually faster than going to court. Court schedules can be backed up for months. Mediation can help you reach an agreement in just a few sessions.
- It’s more affordable. Court battles can be expensive. Mediation often costs less because it takes less time and involves fewer legal steps.
- It’s more private. Court proceedings become part of the public record, but mediation is a more private setting to work things out.
- It keeps things respectful. Especially when kids are involved, keeping the tone calm and cooperative can make a big difference in how everyone moves forward.
Do We Still Need a Lawyer?
Even if you use a mediator, it’s smart to have a lawyer involved. A lawyer can:
- Make sure your rights are protected
- Review the final agreement to confirm it’s fair and complete
- File your paperwork with the court once everything is finalized
At Krasner Law, we’re happy to support you during mediation or help connect you with trusted professionals we work with regularly.
Not sure if mediation is right for you? If you and your spouse are both open to finding common ground—but just need some help doing it—mediation is definitely worth exploring.
Common Questions About Getting a Divorce
Here are some of the most frequently asked questions we get from clients going through a divorce. If you’re feeling unsure about how things work, these answers can help you feel more confident and informed.
1. How long does an uncontested divorce take?
On average, an uncontested divorce in New York or New Jersey takes about 3 to 6 months. The timeline depends on:
- How quickly you and your spouse can agree on terms
- How fast you complete and file paperwork
- How busy the court is at the time
Tip: The more organized and cooperative both parties are, the faster things usually move.
2. Do we have to go to court?
In most uncontested divorce cases, you don’t need to go to court. If your paperwork is in order and the judge doesn’t have any questions, they can finalize the divorce without a hearing.
In some cases, a short court appearance may be required—especially if children are involved or there are special concerns. But don’t worry—your lawyer will prepare you ahead of time if that’s necessary.
3. Can I file for divorce without a lawyer?
Yes, you can file for divorce without a lawyer, but it’s not usually a good idea—especially if you have shared assets, children, or long-term financial agreements to sort out.
A lawyer can:
- Help make sure nothing important is missed
- Guide you through confusing paperwork
- Avoid delays or mistakes that could cost you time and money later
Think of it this way: Divorce is a big legal step. Having a professional on your side gives you peace of mind that everything’s done right.
4. What if my spouse doesn’t respond after being served?
If your spouse doesn’t respond to the divorce papers within the required time (usually 20–30 days), you can ask the court for a default judgment.
That means the judge may approve your requests—even without input from your spouse.
Important: You still need to follow the proper legal steps and provide the court with proof that your spouse was served correctly.
5. Do we have to be separated before we file for divorce?
No, you don’t have to be separated before filing for divorce in New York or New Jersey. Both states offer no-fault divorce, which means you can file based on the idea that the marriage has broken down and there’s no hope of fixing it.
In other words: You don’t have to prove that anyone did something wrong, and you don’t have to live apart first.
6. What happens to the things we own together?
In an uncontested divorce, you and your spouse decide together how to divide your property, savings, debts, and anything else you share.
You’ll include those decisions in your settlement agreement, which the court will review and approve—assuming it looks fair.
Bonus tip: If you can’t agree on how to split things, your case may shift to a contested divorce, and a judge may have to step in to decide.
7. What if we have kids?
If children are involved, your divorce agreement needs to include clear plans for:
- Custody (who the kids will live with)
- Parenting time (visitation schedules)
- Child support
The court’s main concern is always what’s best for the children. If your plan seems fair and well thought out, the judge will likely approve it.
Bonus tip: Try to be as specific as possible in your agreement. This helps avoid confusion or conflict down the road.
8. Is divorce a matter of public record?
Yes—divorce filings are public records. However, the more personal details—like your finances or settlement terms—can often be kept private or sealed by the court if needed.
Bonus tip: If you’re concerned about privacy, talk to your lawyer. There are steps we can take to keep sensitive details protected.
9. What are the grounds for divorce?
Most people today file for no-fault divorce, meaning the marriage simply isn’t working anymore and can’t be repaired. The legal term for this in New York is “irretrievable breakdown” of the marriage.
Bonus tip: This is the easiest and most common reason for divorce, and it doesn’t require proving that either person did anything wrong.
10. Can we use the same lawyer?
In short—no, not if both of you want legal representation. A single lawyer can’t represent both spouses because it would be a conflict of interest.
However:
- One person can hire a lawyer to handle the paperwork and guide the process.
- The other spouse can choose not to have legal representation or hire their own.
Bonus tip: Even in a friendly divorce, it’s a good idea for each person to at least consult with a lawyer to understand their rights.
Let’s Take the Next Step Together
Understanding how to get a divorce can help take some of the fear and confusion out of the process. If you and your spouse are ready to move forward peacefully, an uncontested divorce can be a smart and respectful option.
At Krasner Law, we’re here to help you through each step—from filing paperwork to finalizing your agreement. Whether you need full legal support or just a little guidance, we’re here when you’re ready.
Ready to take the next step? Contact us today for a confidential consultation about your divorce options
