What Is a Contested Divorce? Understanding the Process and Implications

Divorce is never easy, and when both spouses can’t agree on important details, things can get even more complicated. This type of situation is called a contested divorce. So, what is a contested divorce, and how is it different from other types of divorce? Let’s break it down into simple terms and explore the process and what it all means.

What is the Contested Divorce Meaning?

A contested divorce occurs when a couple cannot agree on one or more important aspects of their divorce. Unlike an uncontested divorce, where both spouses agree on the terms and finalize their separation with minimal legal intervention, a contested divorce involves negotiations, legal proceedings, and sometimes court hearings.

In a contested divorce, disagreements often arise over:

  • Division of property and money: Who gets the house? How should the savings account or debts be split?

  • Child custody and visitation schedules: Which parent will the child live with? How often will the other parent see them?

  • Child support payments: How much financial support will one parent provide to the other for the child’s needs?

  • Alimony (spousal support): Should one spouse financially support the other after the divorce?

Why Do These Disagreements Happen?

Divorces often bring up deep emotions, which can make it harder for couples to reach agreements, especially if:

  • One spouse feels they’re being treated unfairly.

  • The marriage involves significant assets or debt.

  • There are disagreements over parenting styles or future plans for the children.

  • One spouse is hiding or misrepresenting financial information.

Real-Life Example of a Contested Divorce

Imagine a couple in New York divorcing after 15 years of marriage. They own a house in Brooklyn, have two children, and share multiple financial accounts.

  • The wife wants full custody of the kids, while the husband wants joint custody.

  • The husband wants to sell the house and split the profit, but the wife wants to keep the house and live there with the kids.

  • The wife requests spousal support, claiming she stayed home to raise the kids and has limited income. The husband disagrees, arguing she can find a job.

Because they can’t resolve these issues on their own, they enter a contested divorce.

What Is a Contested Divorce? Breaking Down the Steps

Since we covered the contested divorce meaning, lets break down the steps. Contested divorces can be stressful, but understanding the process can make it more manageable. Here’s a step-by-step guide to what you can expect:

1. Filing the Divorce Papers

One spouse, known as the petitioner, starts the process by filing a divorce petition with the court. This document includes:

  • The reasons for the divorce (New York allows both "fault" and "no-fault" grounds).

  • Requests for child custody, division of property, or support.

For example, New York recognizes no-fault divorce, meaning a couple can divorce simply because the marriage has irretrievably broken down for at least six months.

2. Serving the Papers

The petitioner must serve the divorce papers to the other spouse (the respondent). This ensures the respondent is aware of the divorce proceedings. The respondent then has a set amount of time—usually 20 days in New York—to reply.

If the respondent disagrees with any terms in the petition, the divorce becomes contested.

3. Collecting Information (Discovery Phase)

The discovery phase involves gathering evidence to support each spouse’s claims. This can include:

  • Financial documents, like bank statements and tax returns.

  • Property appraisals to determine the value of shared assets.

  • Witness statements, such as testimony from a child psychologist in custody disputes.

For instance, if one spouse claims the other is hiding assets, the discovery phase might involve subpoenas or depositions to uncover hidden accounts.

4. Trying to Settle (Negotiation or Mediation)

Most contested divorces include an attempt to resolve disputes outside of court:

  • Negotiation: Lawyers for each spouse work together to reach a settlement.

  • Mediation: A neutral mediator helps the couple communicate and find common ground.

This step can save time and money. For example, a couple might agree to joint custody after hearing a mediator explain the benefits for their children’s emotional well-being.

5. Going to Court

If negotiations fail, the case goes to trial. Each spouse presents evidence, calls witnesses, and makes arguments in front of a judge.

The judge will make decisions on unresolved issues, such as:

  • Who gets primary custody of the children.

  • How much child support is owed, based on New York’s Child Support Standards Act.

  • The division of marital property, guided by equitable distribution laws (not always a 50/50 split but based on fairness).

For instance, a judge might decide that one spouse keeps the family home while the other receives a larger share of retirement savings.

6. Finalizing the Divorce

Once all issues are resolved, the judge issues a divorce decree. This document:

  • Legally ends the marriage.

  • Outlines decisions on custody, support, and property division.

Questions People Often Ask About Contested Divorces

1. How Long Does a Contested Divorce Take?

Contested divorces can take months or even years, depending on the complexity of the case and the court’s schedule.

2. How Much Does It Cost?

Contested divorces are more expensive than uncontested ones due to legal fees, court costs, and professional witnesses. In New York, the average cost ranges from $15,000 to $30,000 or more.

3. Can We Switch to an Uncontested Divorce?

Yes! If the spouses manage to resolve their disagreements during negotiations or mediation, they can switch to an uncontested divorce, saving time and money.

Relevant New York Laws to Keep in Mind

  • Child Support Standards Act: Determines child support payments based on income and number of children.

  • Equitable Distribution Law: Property is divided fairly, though not always equally.

  • Residency Requirements: At least one spouse must meet New York residency rules, like living in the state for one year before filing.

A contested divorce is a legal process where spouses need help resolving disagreements over important issues like custody, support, or property. While it can be stressful, having a clear understanding of the process—and a good attorney—can make it smoother.

Why Do Some Divorces Become Contested?

When a marriage ends, emotions often run high, and disagreements about important issues can make the process more complicated. While many couples try to settle their differences amicably, it’s not always possible. This is where a contested divorce comes into play. Let’s explore the common reasons divorces become contested, including real-life examples and answers to questions you might have about the process.

1. Child Custody Disputes

One of the most common reasons divorces become contested is disagreements about who gets custody of the children. Both parents usually want what’s best for their kids, but they might have very different ideas about what that looks like.

Key Questions and Answers:

  • What happens if parents can’t agree on custody?
    If parents can’t agree, the court decides based on what’s in the child’s best interests. In New York, courts consider factors like the child's age, each parent’s ability to care for the child, and the child’s wishes (if they’re old enough).

Real-Life Example:
Imagine a couple where one parent has a demanding job and travels frequently, while the other parent has a more stable schedule. The traveling parent might argue they can still provide a nurturing environment, but the other parent might push for sole custody to provide consistency. These kinds of disputes often require court intervention.

Relevant Law to Keep in Mind:
New York courts follow the "best interests of the child" standard, which considers multiple factors like the emotional bond with each parent, stability, and the child’s education and health needs.

2. Disagreements Over Finances

Money can be a significant source of conflict during a divorce, especially when the couple has substantial assets, debts, or disagreements about alimony or child support.

Key Questions and Answers:

  • How does the court decide who gets what?
    New York is an equitable distribution state, which means assets and debts are divided fairly, but not necessarily equally. The court looks at factors like each spouse’s income, contributions to the marriage, and future financial needs.

Real-Life Example:
A couple owns a house, retirement accounts, and a small business. One spouse may claim they contributed more to the business, while the other argues they sacrificed their career to support the family. If they can’t agree, a judge will review the evidence and divide the assets.

Relevant Law to Keep in Mind:
Under New York Domestic Relations Law (DRL) §236, marital property is divided equitably. This includes property acquired during the marriage, regardless of whose name is on the title.

3. Emotional Conflicts

Divorce isn’t just a legal process—it’s deeply personal. Hurt feelings, mistrust, and unresolved anger can make it hard for couples to cooperate, even when compromise would save time and money.

Key Questions and Answers:

  • Can emotions impact the legal process?
    Absolutely. Emotional conflict often leads to more drawn-out negotiations or even trials, as one or both spouses may refuse to back down on key issues.

Real-Life Example:
In one case, a spouse felt betrayed by infidelity and refused to settle until they "got even." This emotional roadblock made the divorce take much longer and cost both parties more money in legal fees.

Pro Tip:
It’s important to separate emotional grievances from legal decisions. A good divorce attorney can help you focus on practical outcomes instead of emotional revenge.

4. Legal Concerns

Sometimes, one spouse feels the other is hiding assets, being unreasonable, or trying to take advantage of the situation. In these cases, a contested divorce might be necessary to ensure fairness.

Key Questions and Answers:

  • What if I think my spouse is hiding assets?
    Your attorney can request financial disclosures during the discovery phase. In New York, the law requires both parties to provide full financial documentation.

Real-Life Example:
A spouse suspects their partner is hiding income from a side business to avoid paying fair child support. The attorney subpoenas financial records, revealing undeclared earnings. This discovery leads to a more equitable support agreement.

Relevant Law to Keep in Mind:
New York courts require full financial disclosure under Uniform Rules for the Trial Courts, 22 NYCRR §202.16.

The Challenges and Benefits of a Contested Divorce

A contested divorce isn’t easy, but for some couples, it’s the only way to achieve a fair resolution. Let’s look at the challenges and the potential upsides.

Challenges of a Contested Divorce

  • It Takes Time:
    Contested divorces can take months—or even years—to resolve. This is because they involve multiple steps like discovery, negotiation, and possibly a trial.
    Example: A custody dispute where both parents bring in professional witnesses, such as child psychologists, can take months to schedule and resolve.

  • It Can Be Expensive:
    Legal fees, court costs, and hiring professionals (like financial analysts or child custody evaluators) add up quickly.
    Tip: Mediation can sometimes resolve smaller issues, saving you time and money for the bigger disputes.

  • It’s Emotionally Draining:
    Rehashing grievances in court or during negotiations can take a toll on your mental health.
    Tip: Therapy or counseling can help you manage the emotional stress of the process.

Benefits of a Contested Divorce

  • You Get a Tailored Outcome:
    In a contested divorce, the court considers your specific situation. This means you’re more likely to get a resolution that works for you and your family.
    Example: If one parent is better suited to handle the children’s day-to-day needs, the court can award custody accordingly instead of forcing a one-size-fits-all solution.

  • You Can Protect Your Rights:
    If your spouse is being unreasonable or unfair, a contested divorce gives you the opportunity to stand up for what’s right.
    Example: A spouse who was a stay-at-home parent can request spousal support to help them get back on their feet after the divorce.

Contested divorces happen when couples can’t agree on important issues, and while they’re challenging, they can also ensure fairness and protect your rights. Whether it’s about custody, finances, or emotional disagreements, understanding the process and working with an experienced attorney can make all the difference.

How Krasner Law Can Help You

At Krasner Law, we know how tough a contested divorce can be. That’s why we’re here to guide you through the process every step of the way. Our team listens to your concerns, explains your options, and fights for your rights. Whether you’re working through mediation or preparing for court, we’ll make sure you feel supported and confident.

Wrapping It Up: What Is a Contested Divorce?

A contested divorce is when spouses can’t agree on the terms of their divorce, and a judge needs to step in to make the final decisions. While it can be a complicated and emotional process, it’s also a way to ensure that everyone’s voice is heard and that the outcome is as fair as possible.

If you’re dealing with a contested divorce, you don’t have to face it alone. Contact Krasner Law today to schedule a consultation. We’ll help you navigate the process and work toward the best outcome for your situation. Ready to learn more? Visit our Family Law Services Page to get started.